How Do You Picture Marriage?

Let love and kindness be the motivation behind all that you do. 1 Corinthians 16:14 (TPT)

What’s your picture of a great marriage?

This is one of the most important conversations a couple can have. Why? Because when we tell somebody our vision of a great marriage, we begin to reveal our love language (what makes us feel loved).

One guy told his wife, “Well, if you wanted to show me you loved me, you’d get up in the morning like my mom did for my dad. She would make him breakfast, meet him at the door with his packed lunch and kiss him good-bye.” Now, today many women work outside the home too, or they’re up all night with babies and kids, so perhaps his suggestion may not have been practical. But being brave enough to share his vision of a loving marriage provides a starting point for conversation. From there, we can begin to look for creative ways to meet each other’s needs in a way that works for both people in the relationship.

Begin by thinking about it like this: “If she loved me, she would….” or “If he loved me, he would….” Then discuss it together without arguing—it’s about being open and honest with each other. Getting to understand the other person involves asking questions we usually avoid because they can cause friction, but learning each other’s love languages is a game-changer!

Another great thing you can do involves writing out 1 Corinthians 13 and reading it daily. It’ll give you a new look at love. You see, marital love isn’t just emotional or sexual. It includes both, but it’s also about speaking the love language of your spouse, which helps them feel valued.

What a difference it makes in our relationships when we better understand how the other person envisions and feels love!