Toxic Love

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. Ephesians 3:16-17 (NLT)

The very first time my wife Sally saw me cry, I was so embarrassed. I felt that she would no longer think of me as the cool, suave, debonair man that I wanted to be. I had shown weakness, and my flaws were glaringly obvious in that moment. I was so devastated that I had let her see this in me—but I soon discovered she loved me all the more for being transparent.

Many people hold an incorrect belief that performance earns love. I call this toxic love. It’s poisonous, conditional and counterfeit. It says “I will love you if…”

Toxic love damages your self-worth. If you’ve learned to get your sense of worth from your achievements, gifts and talents, life will be an emotional rollercoaster. When things go well, you’ll feel great about yourself, but when you fail, you’ll be devastated. Your potential will be limited until you learn to untangle your self-worth from your performance—and go to God for the love you need.

You see, God designed you for a love that’s unconditional. Nothing and no one else has the ability to satisfy this need except for Him. And God’s love for you is perfect and complete. He doesn’t love you more when you succeed or less when you fail. Get your eyes off your performance, and look to Him to fill your need for love. Take it in and be completely satisfied by the amazing love God has been sending your way all along.